Usually when he smelled the land breeze he woke up and dressed to go and wake the boy. But tonight the smell of the land breeze came very early and he knew it was too early in his dream and went on dreaming to see the white peaks of the Islands rising from the sea and then he dreamed of the different harbours and roadsteads of the Canary Islands. [2, с.8]
В русском издании 2005 года неправильная последовательность реплик персонажей.
Поскольку следующая часть:
«-- Спасибо. Я рад, что ты так думаешь. Надеюсь, мне не попадется чересчур большая рыба, а то ты еще во мне разочаруешься. -- Нет на свете такой рыбы, если у тебя и вправду осталась прежняя сила. -- Может, ее у меня и меньше, чем я думаю. Но сноровка у меня есть и выдержки хватит» [1, с.11] принадлежит и мальчику, и старику. То есть в данном издании диалог построен таким образом, что все эти слова будто принадлежат только старику.
Во всех русских изданиях говорится «отнесу посуду» [1, с.11], тогда как в оригинальном тексте сказано «I will take the things back to the Terrace». То есть в русских изданиях слово «things» перевели как «посуда», а слово «Terrace» не стали переводить совсем.
Присутствует семантическая разница в переводе из оригинального предложения: язык перевод хемингуэй текст
«He only dreamed ofplaces now and of the lions on the beach»
Когда как в изданиях 1968 и 2005 года слово «lions» переведено как «львята» [1, с.11]. Возможно данное слово здесь уместнее, так как в следующем предложении идет речь о котятах, в то время как в оригинальном тексте именуют как «young cats»
Проанализируем следующий отрывок:
He watched the flying fish burst out again and again and the ineffectual movements of the bird. That school has gotten away from me, he thought. They are moving out too fast and too far. But perhaps I will pick up a stray and perhaps my big fish is around them. My big fish must be somewhere.
The clouds over the land now rose like mountains and the coast was only a long green line with the gray blue hills behind it. The water was a dark blue now, so dark that it was almost purple. As he looked down into it he saw the red sifting of the plankton in the dark water and the strange light the sun made now. He watched his lines to see them go straight down out of sight into the water and he was happy to see so much plankton because it meant fish. The strange light the sun made in the water, now that the sun was higher, meant good weather and so did the shape of the clouds over the land. But the bird was almost out of sight now and nothing showed on the surface of the water but some patches of yellow, sun-bleached Sargasso weed and the purple, formalized, iridescent, gelatinous bladder of a Portuguese man-of- war floating dose beside the boat. It turned on its side and then righted itself. It floated cheerfully as a bubble with its long deadly purple filaments trailing a yard behind it in the water.
“Agua mala,” the man said. “You whore.”
From where he swung lightly against his oars he looked down into the water and saw the tiny fish that were coloured like the trailing filaments and swam between them and under the small shade the bubble made as it drifted. They were immune to its poison. But men were not and when same of the filaments would catch on a line and rest there slimy and purple while the old man was working a fish, he would have welts and sores on his arms and hands of the sort that poison ivy or poison oak can give. But these poisonings from the agua mala came quickly and struck like a whiplash.
The iridescent bubbles were beautiful. But they were the falsest thing in the sea and the old man loved to see the big sea turtles eating them. The turtles saw them, approached them from the front, then shut their eyes so they were completely carapaced and ate them filaments and all. [2, с.13]
В первом абзаце данного отрывка следует предложение « They are moving out too fast and too far» как переведено на русский язык: «Она уплывает слишком быстро и слишком далеко» [1, с.17]. Мы видим, что английское местоимение «they» в русском языке переведено как «Она». И то, и другое местоимение ссылается на рыбу «макрель».
Оригинальная фраза «The strange light the sun made in the water» переводится в русском издании: «Причудливое отражение лучей в воде теперь» [1, с.17].
В русском переводе не упоминается название медузы «Agua mala» [2, с. 13], как это сделано в оригинальном тексте. Однако сохранилось место для легкой нецензурной брани. Так как английское слово «whore», что переводится как «проститутка» имеет значение более грубое, чем русское слово «сука» [1, с.17], используемое в русских адаптациях данного произведения.
Стоит обратить внимание на особенность перевода следующего предложения: «They were immune to its poison». Во всех русских переводах данное предложение имеет действительный залог для слова «яд»: «Яд его не мог причинить им вреда» [1, с.17]. Когда как в оригинальном тексте слово «poison» -- «яд» в переводе, не входит в грамматическую основу предложения.
Проанализируем следующий отрывок:
Aloud he said, “I wish I had the boy.”
But you haven't got the boy, he thought. You have only yourself and you had better work back to the last line now, in the dark or not in the dark, and cut it away and hook up the two reserve coils.
So he did it. It was difficult in the dark and once the fish made a surge that pulled him down on his face and made a cut below his eye. The blood ran down his cheek a little way. But it coagulated and dried before it reached his chin and he worked his way back to the bow and rested against the wood. He adjusted the sack and carefully worked the line so that it came across a new part of his shoulders and, holding it anchored with his shoulders, he carefully felt the pull of the fish and then felt with his hand the progress of the skiff through the water.
I wonder what he made that lurch for, he thought. The wire must have slipped on the great hill of his back. Certainly his back cannot feel as badly as mine does. But he cannot pull this skiff forever, no matter how great he is. Now everything is cleared away that might make trouble and I have a big reserve of line; all that a man can ask.
“Fish,” he said softly, aloud, “I'll stay with you until I am dead.”
He'll stay with me too, I suppose, the old man thought and he waited for it to be light. [2, с. 19]
В издании 2005 года количество абзацев отличается от количества аналога в оригинальном тексте, что говорит о небольшой неточности.
Слово «'forever» во всех русских изданиях переведено по вторичному значению «без конца» [1, с.24], вместо слова «вечно».
Рассмотрим следующий отрывок:
The other shark had been in and out and now came in again with his jaws wide. The old man could see pieces of the meat of the fish spilling white from the corner of his jaws as he bumped the fish and closed his jaws. He swung at him and hit only the head and the shark looked at him and wrenched the meat loose. The old man swung the club down on him again as he slipped away to swallow and hit only the heavy solid rubberiness.
“Come on, galano,” the old man said. “Come in again.”
The shark came in a rush and the old man hit him as he shut his jaws. He hit him solidly andfrom as high up as he could raise the club. This time he felt the bone at the base of the brain and he hit him again in the same place while the shark tore the meat loose sluggishly and slid down from the fish.
The old man watched for him to come again but neither shark showed. Then he saw one on the surface swimming in circles. He did not see the fin of the other.